Adios 2013

We did it. No sweeter words have ever been spoken.

I'm not quite sure where to begin. The tears of 2013 have finally dried up and the wounds have been healed. This past year was a continuation of landslides that brought us back down to the bottom of the mountain after we had worked so hard to see the top. 

January was the month I tried to be optimistic about what was to come. After taking nearly 4 weeks off work to be with Tyler during his recovery I thought the worst was over. Wrong. That month the bills poured in. Each time they came through the mail box I would just sit and attempt to come up with a plan of where the money was coming from. It was up to me. Tyler was working hard to recover as fast as he could. Didn't these doctors know we were living paycheck to paycheck before they charged us $25,000 for a 90 minute surgery. It was in those moments of thought I would pray for a miracle; something or someone that could make this money possible.

My prayers were answered. My mom has this way of sensing our needs. I had been cleaning with her for several years but immediately following Tyler's surgery I was handed 8 cleaning jobs that were either weekly or biweekly. The families at school were also calling me several times a week to babysit. Most days consisted of me getting up at 4:30 in the morning and being at my cleaning jobs from 5:30-10:30. I would then go to work at school from 11:30-5:30 and then babysit from 5:30-8:30. I would get home at 9 and immediately head to bed. That was our life for several months.

In the first 45 days of 2013 we payed over $3,000 in medical bills. Not a penny of my teaching salary went towards those bills. By the end of this year we have paid over $8,000 in medical bills. That's 65% of my teaching salary. No joke. It is because of my mom and my families at school we are able to end 2013 free of medical debt. I will be forever grateful for the people that helped us get rid of that burden.

After 5 long months, Tyler was able to return to full duty. The doctor said he would never be able to turn his palm upwards. After only 6 weeks of therapy he was able to flip his palm completely over. He had beat the odds and hasn't missed a beat. We are blessed for sure.

In May our community decided to make the Relay For Life of Harrisonburg the #1 Relay event in the state of Virginia. They raised over $440,000. Co-Chairing this event has been one of the most humbling experiences. All of the hard work and sleepless nights were well worth it. It's amazing to think that we are known throughout the division and the entire country. Heather and I were recently asked to come to Seattle to be recognized and be on a panel regarding our event. I don't take this opportunity lightly. I'm the leader and person I am today because of my volunteers.

On October 18th I got a call that brought me to my knees. The American Cancer Society had called to offer me a job as a Relay For Life Specialist. A dream come true to sure. This decision soon became the easiest and hardest things I've ever had to do. It was the easiest decision because my entire life outside of work had been Relay. I love all that Relay stands for. I would be fulfilling the promise I had made 12 years ago; I was going to find a cure for cancer.  On the other hand I would be leaving my kids, my teachers and assistants, and my home Relay. I realized that all of these people had made me into the person I was meant to be and I was doing them an injustice by staying in my comfort zone. I was meant to be a world changer.

I needed a fresh start. I needed to find a way to put our life back together after months of struggle. I needed to be led by someone who appreciated me and believed that I was worth more than a paycheck. I have that now. I am appreciated and respected by my superiors. The work I do everyday is making a difference in the fight against cancer. I have a purpose once again.

 I hit the refresh button in November and haven't looked back. And this is how I want 2014 to start. Our entire life has changed. I love going to work each day. I use the commute as time for me to reflect on what needs to be done. I don't have to worry about over drawing our bank account with bills that need to be paid. The weight of the world is off our shoulders. The last year of struggles made this new phase of our lives bittersweet. 

2013 was the year we got over ourselves and decided that no one was going to hold us back. We did what we needed to do and we did it without complaining and with a grateful attitude. At some point we both lost our sense of purpose but when it came back it was absolute bliss. We are blessed and highly favored. Here's to a happy, healthy, and prosperous 2014.

Fullfilling My Promise to God

Twelve years ago, on my tenth birthday, I was standing on the dirt track of the Rockingham County Fairgrounds staring at a candle lit white bag with my Papa's name on it. As tears ran down my face I made one simple promise to God. I prayed, "God, one day I will help find a cure for cancer." The luminaria bag that I wept beside that night wasn't the only one lit on the track. It was actually one of several hundred. Each luminaria bag represented one person affected by cancer. I had finally made the realization that I wasn't the only one struggling with the loss of a loved one who had been taken by cancer. I didn't know how I was going to be a part of the movement against cancer, but I knew I was going to do something to fight this dreaded disease.

Fast forward eleven years. Once again, I'm standing on the paved track at the Rockingham County Fairgrounds staring at a candle lit white bag with my Papa's name on it. This time I have placed several around it. Cancer is continuing to spread amongst my family,  friends, and even my beloved dogs. I think back to the promise I made to God eleven years early. It occurs to me that I'm beginning to fulfill my promise. The next morning I congratulate teams for raising over $65,000 on stage as the Event Co-Chair. I have this overwhelming feeling of joy and accomplishment as we clean up the fairgrounds and make our way home to sleep for the next 24 hours. However, a part of me is yearning to do more.

Fast forward to last Wednesday. At 12:18 I receive a call that changes my life. A talent recruiter with the American Cancer Society calls to offer me a position as the Relay For Life Specialist for Augusta County, Mary Baldwin College, and Charlottesville. At that moment I realize that my promise to God is finally coming to full fruition.

It occurred to me last night as I was sharing my great news with my Harrisonburg/Rockingham committee that I can't take sole ownership of this opportunity. As I watched their reaction, full of tears and smiles, I realized that these volunteers have catapulted me to where I was meant to be. Because of them I am who I am today. Because of them I have become the leader I was meant to be. Because of them I have this desire to eliminate cancer as quickly as possible.

During my interview last Tuesday, I shared my Relay story with my hiring manager. At the end of my story she told me that my Papa would have been very proud of me. It brings tears to my eyes thinking about it. I know he would have been beaming if I were able to share this news with him in person. The whole reason I have fought so hard is because my Papa was taken away from me over 12 years ago. I believe with all my heart that his death was not in vain, but a way for God to bring my to my purpose. God works in very wonderful and mysterious ways.

The biggest lesson I have learned throughout this entire journey is to have faith. I know that I was meant to find a cure for cancer. Last year during Tyler's recovery I learned that I wasn't in control of my own life. God is in control of my life. Once I handed all of these important decisions over to him, life became a lot easier and my purpose was revealed.

Now it's time for some kudos to those who have made me who I am on this journey.

To my dear husband, Tyler. Thank you for your patience with me on this journey. Here's to a new chapter of our lives <3

To Heather, my beloved friend and Co-Chair, seven years ago you believed in my idea of creating a Relay For Life team for Broadway High School. That belief has taken us to a very exciting chapter in our lives. I couldn't have made it through the last few years with out you. I couldn't think of a better person to be on this journey with. <3

To my Planning Committee, you all have made me into the leader I am today. You have taught me patience and how to work with others to meet a common goal. You are home to me.

And to all my friends and family, your support means the world to me.

So here's to a very new and exciting journey. I am thrilled to be starting my new career with the American Cancer Society. I have complete faith that a cure will be found during my life time.

Relay Blessings,
Kelsey

The Life of a Fire Wife

Last week we celebrated two years of marriage. Wow! Where has the time gone? It seems like yesterday I walked down the aisle to my handsome firefighter in his Class A as we dedicated our lives to each other and celebrated our love with our friends and family. The moment I said "I Will" I became a part of a special group of women. I became a Fire Wife.

Almost a year ago I came across a Facebook group called "Firefighter Wives". I quickly fell in love with this group. For the first time ever, I felt like someone finally understood the firefighter lifestyle we live everyday. This group has now evolved into the "Fire Wife Sisterhood" through www.firefighterwife.com. These ladies make me laugh, they make me cry, but most of all, they give me hope and encouragement on the days that aren't so easy. Like today. This has been on of the longest shift weeks ever. Tyler normally works three 24 hours shifts this week. He also picked up an additional 12 hour shift this evening. Between his and my schedule, I will see him late tomorrow evening and finally get to spend the day with him on Sunday. That's 96 hours apart. It's enough to make anyone a little emotional. But back to my fire wife sisters. Yesterday I posted an update and got back several encouraging responses that uplifted and encouraged me to make it through these next few days. Thank God for this group. Their entire purpose is to strengthen Fire marriages and they're doing just that.

This lifestyle can mean a lot of things to a lot of people. For me, being a Fire Wife is a purpose I am fulfilling. There is no greater joy in my life than loving on this man I call my husband. Even though it's a lot of work, I don't mind cooking two meals the night before his shift. For the most part it doesn't bother me being alone every 3rd day. Yes, I miss him terribly, but I know he's fulfilling his purpose and living his dream.  I learned to be very independent before we were married, which makes it easier for him to do his job and not have to worry about me.

(Tyler is the one with his flashlight shining)

To the people on the outside looking in, they see me as the wife coming to church alone every 4th Sunday and on holidays. Yes, I have my family there, but my husband isn't there. It's just not the same. I go to functions alone and carry a smile on my face the entire time when really I wish he were right beside me to share those moments. With all the holidays that get interrupted we've learned to ignore dates and celebrate on our own terms. This picture is from our First Christmas as husband and wife. Tyler was on shift that day and I came to the station for their Christmas dinner. We've definitely learned to adjust and enjoy the time we have with each other, even if it's not on the exact date of a certain holiday or occasion.

I've learned many hard, yet wonderful lessons from this Fire Wife life.
1. Shift days are meant to be productive in the house. However, eating cereal for dinner is also very productive :)
2. The way to a man's heart is through his stomach, especially with strawberry cake cookies. Engine 28 is spoiled constantly with baked goods.
3. Nothing positive comes from worrying. Remember he's well trained and his brothers have his back.
4. Be FireStrong, because some days it's all you have left.
5. He'll always be a hero. My hero.

So here's to 2 years as an official Fire Wife. And to make it really official, Tyler got me special license plates for our anniversary :) Oh how I love my Firefighter <3

Blessings,

Kelsey

Here's to 21 Years of...

As my 22nd birthday approaches on Saturday, I can't help but look back at the last 21 years and evaluate how I've spent them. In April, my friend Frankie lost his life in a car accident. He was 20. Just a year younger than me. He had so much life ahead of him. For weeks I struggled with the fact that the good die young. As I read his obituary and attended his funeral service I couldn't help but think of what my obituary would say; or what people would say at my funeral. Weird I know. But when you see someone so young leave this Earth, the contemplation of how you've spent you life hits you hard.

This contemplation took several weeks to get through, but in the end I'm beyond happy with how I've spent the first 21 years of my life. Some will probably see this post as a brag on Kelsey post. But for me, it's an acknowledgement of how far I've come. Let's start from the beginning.

My mother brought me, Kelsey Janee Sager, into this world on May 11, 1991 at 12:07 p.m. I was 5 weeks early and my Mom had been in labor for over 36 hours. When I was finally born I was purple, severely bruised and my left foot was turned sideways. My Mom quickly got her vengeance on the doctor by kicking him as hard as should could. By leaving me in the birth canal for that long, he could have killed me. And he knew it. That doctor soon lost his licence to practice medicine. Jerk.

 

Because of the craziness that happened during my delivery, my sideways foot left me unable to walk until 13 months old. The trauma is also to blame for my fibromyalgia. However, we made the most of it. I soon became a normal kid who pretended the pain wasn't there. My childhood was pretty normal. I played basketball, soccer, and immersed myself in school. I hid behind my grades and teachers as I was bullied throughout elementary school. I tried to find myself in middle school but was still labeled as the nerd with glasses and braces. Middle school was unpleasant.

 

 

In high school I finally found myself. I played varsity tennis all four years and realized the only opinion that mattered was mine. I was still the straight A student but found my love for community service. I also found the love of my life. I was blessed to be able to experience Massanutten Regional Governor's School and become a student at Bridgewater College during my senior year. After four years of working my tail off, I was named class Valedictorian and received a full scholarship to Bridgewater College. I had it all and then some.

 

Fall 2009 was a time of new beginnings. On September 1st I started my freshman year at Bridgewater College and on September 9th Tyler asked me to marry him. Words can't even describe the looks and snickers I got as a freshman walking around with an engagement ring on my finger. At times the words hurt; that we were too young and wouldn't make it. People didn't understand that our age didn't make a difference to us. We had been together for four years. Tyler had a full time job. I was working 3 jobs and going to school full time to graduate in 2.5 years. We could do it.

 

 

Two years later we tied the knot on September 10, 2011; which also happened to be the first week of my last semester at Bridgewater College. That semester tested everything I had in me. I was working 25 hours a week and attempting to graduate with honors. On December 16th I graduated from Bridgewater College with a 3.9 GPA and magna cum laude.

 

 

 

In the midst of graduating, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and hypermobility syndrome on April 26, 2012. It took over a decade to get this diagnosis. My rheumatologist pretty much gave me a death sentence. He prescribed me 5 different medications, told me to stop running, and take it easy. Who was he trying to kid. I only took one of the prescriptions, an emergency muscle relaxer and gave him a kiss my ass look. Three weeks later I ran my first half marathon. Anger kept me going through those 13.1 miles. I was in pain, but I was going to prove him wrong. For the next nine months I struggled with the diagnosis. I was denied life insurance and deemed chronically ill. By Christmas I was going through the most difficult fibro flare of my life. (Did I mention that in the middle of this fibro flare, Tyler was recovering from a wrist fusion, couldn't work for 5 months, and we still payed $3,000 in medical bills!) I sought help from a massage therapist and that's when I saw the light. In the middle of the massage she began to tell me that she could feel the fibromyalgia in my back. She also explained that some believe fibromyalgia is a spectrum. Not every one's condition is the same. I came to accept that and was determined to put myself in remission. After two months of Bikram hot yoga, clean eating, and several handfuls of supplements a day, I claimed remission. I ran my second half marathon in April 2013 pain free.

 

For the last year, I have made the commitment to serve as Event Co-Chair for the Harrisonburg/Rockingham Relay for Life. I'm bound and determined to help find a cure for cancer. At my first Relay for Life event 12 years ago, I made a promise to God that I was going to make a difference in the fight against cancer. This promise has led me to event co-chair. Serving as event co-chair as been one of the most trying yet humbling and amazing experiences of my life. I can't bare to see another one of my friends or family or dogs endure cancer. I'm blessed to have my co-chair Heather, who's been there for me every step of the way during this journey. One year down, one to go!

 

 

And that brings me to today. I'm a half marathon running wife in remission, that sped through my undergraduate degree in 2.5 years, and is out to find a cure for cancer prove to the world that age is just a number. I have come to realize that I'm not your normal 21 year old. I have my parents to thank for my determination and strength. I've had several people ask me why I've chosen the path I've taken. Yes I'll admit, I missed the whole college experience. I never partied in high school or college. I stayed at home and studied while cooking dinner for my husband. I honestly wouldn't have had it any other way. In my eyes, my life is exactly how I want it to be. I have an amazing firefighter husband, incredible friends, and a life I look forward to waking up to every morning. If today were my last day, I would be completely content with all I've done thus far.

 

Blessings,

Kelsey

Practice #20

So my 30 day Bikram Yoga challenge has turned into a 30 practice challenge. Life always seems to get crazy when I'm ready for it to slow down. My goal this week is to practice every single day. It's in my life planner. It will be done. And it's going to be amazing.

In the last few weeks of practice I've hit some major milestones for myself. Two weeks ago during a very laid back practice with Graham, my head touched the floor for the first time during standing separate leg stretching. I was on an excitement high for the rest of class. Every single class I stare at the floor and try and try and try to touch my head to it. It hasn't happened since but once is good enough for now. My hamstrings took a beating after that practice and I had to start all over again. And today during practice with Karla, I was able to see the floor for the first time during camel. Camel is a very difficult pose. However, it's one of my favorite poses. Back bends feel amazing to my spine. Bring on the room spinning!

Additionally, there are other perks to the practice that I have found. Some of these make me laugh so hard. The other day when applying my make up I realized I had a small callus forming on my chin from having my chin on the mat during the spine strengthening series poses. Floor bow pose has also brought on hip bruises and calf cramps. My calf cramped up today and I couldn't help but laugh and roll around on my mat to keep my mind off the pain. I've also found that my hypermobility syndrome has also brought on some interesting experiences. A few practices ago I went backwards in camel and my head didn't stop until it hit the floor. FYI, your head isn't supposed to touch the floor in that way. I also find myself constantly hitting the mirror when in half moon pose. I guess it's my own fault for picking the corner spot. The purpose of half moon is to make your body look like a half moon by bending and having tremendous stretching on the side of the body. Today my arms were completely parallel to the floor on the right side. Score! Thank you hypermobility!

 

This practice has given me many laughs, many tears of joy, and many new friends. If you ever get a chance to experience all of it's wonders, you'll forever be changed in some way.

Blessings,
Kelsey

A New Season

The most challenging season of our life is over and done with. It's in our past but forever in our memory. We learned more in the last 3 months than we have in the last year and half in our marriage. I've learned that I'm stronger than I ever thought I could be. 55-70 hour work weeks for three months straight to pay medical bills has left me physically and mentally exhausted; yet, I have accomplished something some said I could never do. I have dreamed about the day we pay off all of Tyler's medical bills since December 14th. Here we are three months later and it's done. I never thought we'd get here this fast. But I couldn't be more happy with all we overcame to get the job done. At one point I was babysitting four families a week, cleaning four houses and a church, and working 30 hours in my teaching position. Where there's a will there's a way.

Last Sunday our pastor preached a message on joy and worry. He quoted Ecclesiastes 4, which I had never heard before. I feel like this passage covers every second of our lives since Tyler's surgery.

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.
What profit hath he that worketh in that wherein he laboureth?
 I have seen the travail, which God hath given to the sons of men to be exercised in it.
 He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end.

 

What a beautiful passage. We have experienced so many of these emotions during the last season. I wept the night of Tyler's surgery. We laughed to forget the world around us. Tyler began the healing process. We broke down when we had had enough. Our friends and family built us up when our heads hung low. We loved throughout the hurt and challenges. We embraced often. And danced with each step forward. Even when it got ugly and it was hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel, God made the time a beautiful piece of our life story. Our victory story.

Spring is our time to start over and rebuild what we pushed aside during the last season. We're moving forward each day. Today I came home to our loan approval sitting on the counter. We were approved for more than we need and the payments are in our budget. Now we're just waiting on a piece of land. As soon as we find land the loan will go through closing, which is estimated to occur in June. Four to five months later we will be living in our new home. God is good. We are proof that faith and prayer yields results.

Blessings,
Kelsey

Be Still...

If there's one thing I've learned over the last week it's to simply {be still}. Psalm 46:10 tells us, "Be still and know that I am God." Oh how true. Sometimes I just have to stop and remind myself that I'm not in control. Realizing that I can't control everything is quite a challenge, especially for my perfect melancholy personality. There have been very few quite moments for me in the last week but the ones I have taken have been much needed.

I feel that our sense of normalcy in our home has gone out the window yet again. However, I know that our circumstances will be constantly changing and there will never be such thing as normalcy in our home. We change with the times and with the circumstances. A few weeks ago we went through the process of getting the home we rent appraised. Our landlord offered us first chance at the house and I was being optimistic that we could afford the house. I was very wrong. The house came back appraised at $234,000. That's not pocket change. And it's way over our budget. I guess I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up because as soon as we realized we couldn't afford the house the reality of moving set in. Our lease runs out in August and we will have to find a new place to live. My heart broke that night. I love the house we live in and thought of it as the home we would raise our children in. God has a different plan though. Not an hour after we got the appraisal my awesome husband starts making phone calls to people seeing if they will sell us land. We have two leads right now and I know that what's mean to be will come to fruition. It's not in our hands. It's in God's hands. All we can do is prepare for the land that is to come. We've already picked our our new home through Clayton homes and as soon as the loan goes through our house will be ready to move in in 90 days. I couldn't be more excited to start this new chapter in our lives, but at the same time building a home is a huge step!

In addition to all the house craziness, I got my own wake up call on Thursday. I went for my monthly allergy shots and an hour later I was having trouble breathing and breaking out in hives. I knew that I would have to use my Epi Pen and went into panic mode. After calling Tyler in a panic the Engine pulled up at my work two minutes later. These guys weren't wasting any time. I've never seen the engine move so fast and the guys came to my care right away. In less than 5 minutes I had my vitals checked 3 times, was given my Epi Pen injection, and sent away in an ambulance. We are truly blessed to be a part of the Harrisonburg Fire Department and we have the best professionals around; especially my husband. After spending a couple hours in the ER I was released and sent home. For the first time in a month I spent the evening at home resting. God was telling me to be still and didn't give me any other choice. I needed that. This reaction has also set me back almost a year in my series of shots. It's not that getting the shots is a big deal or super painful, but that puts us back another year from having children. Again, I think it's God's way of telling us that he has a plan and we can't always follow ours.

On a positive note we are so close to paying off all of the medical bills from Tyler's surgery. We've paid over $2,500 in the last 45 days. My heads spins thinking about it and my body cringes knowing how much I worked to help pay the bills. There hasn't been a week in 2013 that I haven't worked between 50 and 65 hours. It will all be worth it in the end. Where there's a will there's a way. And we're finding our way.

My hopes are that with this {blizzard} coming our way that I'll be able to take some time to myself and get my life back in check. I need time to clear my head and rest my body. Snow is the perfect way to accomplish just that :)

Blessings,
Kelsey

Week 2 of Bikram Yoga

I'm on week 2 of my Bikram Yoga practice and I feel incredible. I've been pain free for 13 days. Just saying that brings me to tears. For those that haven't experienced hot yoga before I highly recommend it; especially for those with joint and muscle pain. Yesterday I decided to practice twice in one day. My first practice was at 6 a.m. and my second practice was at 6 p.m. My first practice of the day was a wake up call for my body. I've realized that in order to get hydrated before class, I need to get up at 4:30 a.m. I'm a morning person, but that's super early! At 6 in the morning your brain isn't awake, much less your muscles. I was constantly reminding myself that I couldn't expect to be as flexible as my evening practices. It feels so good to have accomplished something so great by 7:30 in the morning. After my first practice I felt ready to conquer my 9 hour work day. The second practice of my day was even better than the first. Because I had already done the work to release my tight muscles I felt much more open and flexible. I couldn't believe how much further into the poses I got. I'm looking forward to my next 2 a day :)

I truly believe that I have found the secret to fibromyalgia; at least my fibromyalgia. Bikram is truly a healing practice and I can't help but smile every time my instructor tells the class how it's healing their body. If they only knew. I love how I not only see outward changes but feel inward changes. My hips are finally slimming down and my stomach is regaining it's definition. But more importantly, my joints and muscles feel great. The pain is gone. I haven't had a migraine or headache in 2 weeks. I have more energy. I feel healthier. I'm happier. And even though life is crazy right now, I feel in control. All of these feelings are priceless.

Blessings,
Kelsey

Bikram Yoga 30 Day Challenge

We all make fitness goals at the beginning of the New Year and this year I was determined to reach mine. My goal is to treat my fibromyalgia and hypermobility on my own with alternative medicines and therapies. I have never been one to run to the doctors office for a prescription. Last April when I was diagnosed my rheumatologist wrote 5 prescriptions to me! I was pretty proud of myself when I only walked out filling only one of those, which was a mild muscle relaxer. But that's where my journey began. And I had to start from scratch. I thought that running, doing yoga, and working out 4-5 times a week would magically bring me back into alignment and balance. Wrong. I started on a strict supplement regimen, changed my diet, and started going back to my chiropractor. The difference in those few months were like night and day. I gained my control back for a short time. However, there were still bad days. I needed something else. Three weeks ago I discovered the new Bikram Yoga studio in Harrisonburg. I'll never forget that day... my Bikram birthday.

I woke up that morning not knowing if I could get through 90 minutes in a 105 degree room doing 26 poses and 2 breathing exercises. I was in the middle of a 3 week fibro flare that had left me physically and mentally exhausted. The day before I had literally spent 36 hours in bed because my body just couldn't do it. However, I'm so glad I had the courage to walk into that studio not knowing what to expect or how my body would respond. Once you get past the heat, the poses are incredible. I could literally feel the pain and tension melting away with each pose. By the end of class I felt normal, which by my definition is pain free.

Last Friday I made the commitment to do a 30 day challenge. I am determined to practice Bikram yoga everyday for 30 days. I'm on Day 5 now and the results are nothing less than amazing. I've been pain free for 5 days. I'm sleeping again and sleeping well. My headaches and migraines are gone. I feel energized and my brain is finally out of my fibro fog. I don't need any more proof that this practice can work wonders for the body.

One of my favorite parts of Bikram is the encouragement and sense of community. I could have cried the first time I heard the instructor say, "no one can take this away from you." How true. No one can take away the effort and hard work I put into my practice and no one can take away the healing this practice has brought to me.

Here's to 30 days of healing. My goal is to update a few more times during this challenge. I'm so excited to see what Bikram yoga can do to my body in 30 days :)

Blessings,
Kelsey

Adios 2012

2012 has been by far the most challenging year in every aspect. Kelly Clarkson was right... what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. For every struggle we faced we made it into a victory story.

Here's our victory story.

 

In April after years of seeking answers to why my body didn't function like everyone else's I was diagnosed with hyper mobility syndrome and fibromyalgia. I completely agree with the hyper mobility diagnosis. I can bend and flex in ways that the human body isn't supposed to. However, I came out of my seat when my rheumotaligist diagnosed me with fibormyalgia in less than a half an hour of knowing me. He also told me to stop running and that I wouldn't be able to complete my half marathon in May. I left mad and more determined than ever to prove him wrong. On May 20th I finished my first half marathon in under 3 hours. I cried the last mile not because it hurt or it was hard; but because I had just taken control of my life and not let someone else determine my path.

 

 

On May 11th I celebrated my 21st birthday and the next day I walked to receive my college diploma.

It was such a bitter sweet day. In the months prior to graduation changes had been in my department and the President had ticked off the 90 ladies in my major. FCS professionals around the state began sending letters to the Board and President George regarding the changes and the importance of keeping our major together. Our voices were heard. Less than a month before graduation the President resigned and a small victory was won. It didn't change what was happening within our department but I felt at ease knowing that Bridgewater was no longer being led by George. I walked across that stage on May 12 with the biggest grin and snicker across my face as I shook George's hand. I only hope that he realized who I was and remembers my letter.

 

 

In June I was badly sun burnt at a friends outdoor wedding. My dress was of course backless and had small straps. My entire back was burnt. After the sunburn went away I noticed one of my moles didn't look quite right. Less than a week later I was in RMH General Surgery getting it removed and biopsied. I could see concern on the doctors face and waited anxiously by my phone for the next week. On July 3rd a nurse called telling me the mole wasn't cancerous; however, the doctor wanted me to come back to discuss my test results. Two days later I was back at RMH being told that my mole was precancerous and that it had the potential to develop into skin cancer in a few years. I went through one last surgery to remove all the tissue around it. The next step was to get a body scan from a dermatologist. I got the next appointment with a dermatologist in Waynesboro who turned out to be a quack. He barked orders at me like a soldier and told me that I shouldn't have had the precancerous mole removed. He didn't relieve my fears or give me peace of mind that my other moles were fine. Let's just say he'll never see me again or get recommended. Luckily one of my dear friends Connie suggested I see her dermatologist in Richmond, who turned out to be amazing. My peace of mind was restored and got the word cancer out of my brain for now.

 

In October I lost my first best friend and companion, our 17 year old bishon Tynie to cancer. I have very few recollections and memories before Tynie came into our life. I remember the day we brought him home. I was only 4 and my sister and I were floating on cloud nine as my dad held him in one hand on the car ride home. He saw our family through the good and the bad and was by our side every step of the way. From the time he could jump on the bed to the day I moved out he slept on the pillow next to me. He'll always hold a special place in my heart. Cancer has rocked our family hard in the last year and I pray that no one has to go through what we've gone through. Losing two beautiful dogs to cancer in a little over a year is enough to make anyone crazy. I'm blessed to Relay for Life to let me take that craziness and turn it into something productive. I truly believe that when we find a cure for cancer, there will also be a cure for canine cancer.

 

 

In November we started our journey with Tyler's wrist. The day before Thanksgiving we went to UVA to see a hand specialist. I had convinced myself that Tyler wasn't going to need major surgery and that they might just clean his joint out a little bit and send him to therapy. As the doctor pulled up his MRI and Xray my heart sank. His bones wrist bones were not in the right place and nearly all of his tendons and ligaments were torn. Our only option was a wrist fusion. I've never lost it in a doctors office, but that day I did. I'm pretty sure the doctors thought I was crazy. Less than 3 weeks later we were back at UVA getting the procedure done. The surgery couldn't have gone better, but when Tyler's nerve block wore off 6 hours later I knew we were in for it. 12 hours later we had been to 2 ER's and he had finally been admitted to UVA. In those 12 hours he screamed non stop and the pain was like none I've ever seen. I've never felt so helpless in my life. The doctors were ignoring him in the both ER's and they were ignoring my persistent questions and pleas for more pain killers. I was relieved when he was admitted because the nurses couldn't have been more sweeter. They not only took care of him but made sure I was ok, which was questionable at that point. For the next week I was with Tyler 24/7 until he was finally off his pain medications. He is doing so much better now and we're looking forward to his cast coming off and him beginning physical therapy.

 

 

2012 made us stronger and put a fire in us that will burn into 2013. It's moments like we've experienced this year that make us realize we're fighters and will find a way through any obstacle life throws at us. I'm optomistic that 2013 will be incredible and look forward to what it holds.

Happy New Year!

 

Blessings, Kelsey

How many times have you heard me cry out God, please take this...

A few months ago I started listening to K-love, the local Christian radio station and fell in love with the music. One of my favorite songs is "Need You Now" by Plumb.

 

Well, everybody's got a story to tell
And everybody's got a wound to be healed
I want to believe there's beauty here
So, I guess you're tired of holding on
I can't let go, I can't move on
I want to believe there's meaning here

How many times have you heard me cry out
"God please take this"?
How many times have you given me strength to
Just keep breathing?
Oh I need you
God, I need you now.

Standing on a road I didn't plan
Wondering how I got to where I am
I'm trying to hear that still small voice
I'm trying to hear above the noise

These are just a few of the lyrics that stayed in my head the night we were moved from ER to ER in search of relief for Tyler's pain. December 14th was the start of one of the darkest and most challenging experiences of our life. That morning Tyler had a wrist fusion and the surgery couldn't have gone better. However, the surgeon told us that he had done extensive bone work in his wrist and that it was going to hurt. The nerve block was supposed to last at least 18 hours and we needed to get medication in his system before it wore off so we could stay ahead of the pain. We followed doctors orders and got two doses of medication in him before it wore off.

 

At 5 p.m. that evening the pain came fast and hard and before we knew it the ambulance was at our house picking Tyler up and rushing him to RMH ER. I was pretty calm until I saw the ambulance turn on the flashing lights. I knew that that meant he had been moved up to Priority 2 and that his pain was getting worse. As I walked into the ER hallway I could hear him screaming. Little did I know that his pain wouldn't subside for 12 hours and that the screams would get worse. Tyler was given two doses of pain killer at RMH but it wasn't touching his pain. The doctor informed us that no one was on call from UVA orthopedics and that he couldn't be treated at RMH until he talked to a surgeon that was familiar with his case. I was furious. I understood where he was coming from but knew that the longer we waited to be admitted the worse it would get. And I was right. After waiting in the ER for 4 hours Tyler was transported to UVA's ER, where we waited for another 4 hours. I knew I couldn't make the drive to UVA by myself so I called our dear friend Erin. I wasn't worried about the drive, but I needed someone to keep me together that night.

 

In UVA's ER Tyler was administered medication every 45 minutes yet he was still screaming that his pain was a 12. Most people don't realize that Tyler has an extremely high pain tolerance. My pain scale of a 10 is only a 7 to him. I quickly turned into that wife that stalks doctors and nurses in the ER. I wasn't afraid to tell them what I thought. I felt they were purposefully ignoring me. It even got to the point where they would reset the call button without making sure he was ok. I'm not sure how they ignored him the way they did. He was by far the loudest patient in there. At 5 a.m. we were finally taken to a room and he was admitted.

 

As we waited in both ER's I prayed harder than I had ever prayed before. I believe we experienced a miracle that night. I don't recall what time it was but while we were there I was praying and the words just started coming out, louder and louder. I was praying for his relief and a calm to come over him. The next thing I knew the room got silent and Tyler had fallen asleep in the midst of screaming. The entire hospital got quiet and my prayers had been answered.

Now back to Erin. I've known Erin for a little over a year and she has quickly become one of my closest friends. She is with Tyler 8 hours out of his 24 hours shift and is there for the guys when they need to talk about what they've seen. She is a counselor, an encourager, and most of all the fire wife. Station 1 is so blessed to have her. She was the first person to pop in my head when I had to make the decision to call for help. I knew that she would be there for us and she was. She dropped what she was doing to come with me. She sat in the ER with me while Tyler was going in and out of pain. She helped me keep him comfortable while he was sick. When Tyler got frustrated and told us he wanted to give up Erin stood up and firmly said, "God doesn't give you more than you can handle! You haven't been given all you can handle!" But most of all she kept me together until Tyler passed out and then held me as I cried. I don't know if I'll ever be able to repay her for all she did that night. She played a major role in getting us through that dark night.

When the sun came up at 7:00 that morning I couldn't believe we had gotten through the night. At that point I had been up for 28 hours. Our nurse Joanne came in and introduced herself and started taking care of Tyler. She was beyond wonderful. I almost cried when she touched my shoulder and told me everything was going to be alright. I knew we were in good hands. Tyler woke up at 9:00 and his parents arrived soon after. We were released at 2:30 and were home by 4:00. When our heads hit the pillow at 9:00 that night I had been up for 42 hours.  

Those first few nights were rough. Every hour and forty five minutes I was up giving Tyler medicine. However, every day was an improvement and within a week Tyler was off his medicine completely. Those first days we received so many texts, calls, prayers, and words of encouragement. Our friends and family came together and fed us for an entire week, which took the weight of the world off my shoulders. We couldn't have done it without everyone's support and most of all God. Thank you to everyone who helped us through this crazy time!

Blessings, Kelsey
 



All Dogs Go To Heaven

Today was one of the hardest days I've ever went through. It's always hard losing someone you love, but it's especially hard when that someone was your first best friend and companion for 17 years. Today our sweet little Tynie took his last breaths in my arms and gained his angel wings. I have truly been blessed with the opportunity to hold both of my boys during their last moments on this Earth. I feel that Buster must have needed him up there more than we needed him down here. I'm so happy that they have been reunited after being apart for over a year.

 

 

I wanted to share what I was thinking during those last moments with him. A wise vet once told me that she had a client who's son had went through with a surgery and died on the operating table. The doctor's were able to revive him and when he woke up he told his family what he saw during the brief time he left Earth. The first thing he saw was light. He described Heaven as being full of light. The second thing he experience was complete serenity and peace. The final thing he saw was his dog.

 

That's all the proof I need. All dogs go to Heaven. Letting go of Tynie and Buster has been the hardest thing my family has ever had to experience. But I rejoice in knowing that both of my boys are running in Heaven cancer free and that we will meet again.

 

 

In Loving Memory of Tynie Pierre Francios Sager

September 27, 1995 - October 23, 2012

 

The Date Challenge

A few weeks ago while I was browsing Pinterest, I ran into a post by a blogger that had 52 date night ideas. She challenged her husband to one date night a week. Most of the ideas are pretty inexpensive, yet super fun. Which is right up our alley! I fell in love with this post and began planning our upcoming date nights.

http://decrescenzio.blogspot.com/2012/01/52-date-nights.html

Truth is, we haven't been on a date since before we were married! No joke. Our first year of marriage has been nothing but bliss, but we honestly haven't had time to work on us. It hasn't been that big of a deal because we've had the last 6 years to work on us. This last year has thrown a lot at us. Between job changes, moving into our new home, graduating from college, half marathon training, fire company meetings, Relay meetings, constant doctor's visits, and 2 full time jobs and 4 side jobs between the two of us; life has been crazy! When I saw that post I decided that enough is enough. We are making time for one date night a week. We have put off working on our marriage too long and now is the perfect time to start. I'm beyond excited about this new journey!

Blessings,

Kelsey



A Year of Firsts

2011 was a year of firsts.
Big firsts.

It was the year my Mom became my best friend.

It was my first trip to NYC.

It was the year I got my first tattoo.

It was the year I committed to being the future Relay for Life Committee Co-Chair.

It was the year of forgiveness and healing for my family.

It was the year I became a Mommy to our furry kids.

It was the year I fell in love with the Montessori Method and got my first big girl job.

It was the year Buster became cancer free.

It was our first year of marriage.

It was our first year of living together in our own place.

It was the year I walked 60 miles to find a cure for breast cancer.

It was my first time cooking the Thanksgiving Meal.

It was the year I graduated college.

It was our first Christmas.

As I look back I can't help but wonder how we made it through this year. We overcame so many challenges and obstacles, but we made it to 2012! I'm so excited to see what 2012 has in store for us :)

Only the beginning

So many things have happened since my last post. I am now a married woman. A wife. It still feels slightly weird as it comes off my tongue, but a good kind of weird. On September 10th I woke up to a fairy tale and a day that I will never forget. I can't describe the anxiousness and the complete joy I felt that day. After two years of planning, it was finally time for us to say our "I Do's". Every minute of our wedding day is ingrained in my mind and I love reliving those feelings when I think about it. As I look through our wedding photos I realized how lucky we are. There are so many pictures of my family, friends, and Tyler and I laughing and smiling. The pictures still bring tears to my eyes even though I've looked at them non-stop the last few days. Our wedding day was perfect.

This picture gets me every time. The moment my Dad gave me away. I'll always be his little girl.

Our wedding day was such a joyous day for my parents. They were beaming with laughter and smiles all day. I'm beyond blessed to have them in my life and the day wouldn't have been complete without them.

My Mom is the strongest woman I know. As I was rushing to get my veil on before we walked to line up I asked her if it was straight and looked alright and she replied, "You look beautiful."

If she only realized I get my beauty from her :)

Two years ago Megan had the honor of being the first to know about our engagement. She's been there for me every step of the way. And I can't wait to be there for her on her special day. She's next :)

I'm so blessed to have Megan as my best friend

The kiss. The beginning of our new life as a married couple. I love how our pastor Paul is looking at his watch in the background. We couldn't have asked for a better officiant to marry us.

My girls are so beautiful, not only on the outside, but even more so on the inside! Each one of them have a special place in my heart.

I couldn't ask for a better group of ladies :)

And I can't forget Tyler's groomsman...

Who decided to wear Sheriff badges on our wedding day...

I married such a handsome firefighter :)

These are some of my favorites <3

I'm glad the wedding planning is behind us, but I wish I could live our wedding day over everyday. It was such a wonderful celebration of our love and new life together. Even though we can't relive September 10th we can still build upon it. That day was only the beginning <3