Be Still...

If there's one thing I've learned over the last week it's to simply {be still}. Psalm 46:10 tells us, "Be still and know that I am God." Oh how true. Sometimes I just have to stop and remind myself that I'm not in control. Realizing that I can't control everything is quite a challenge, especially for my perfect melancholy personality. There have been very few quite moments for me in the last week but the ones I have taken have been much needed.

I feel that our sense of normalcy in our home has gone out the window yet again. However, I know that our circumstances will be constantly changing and there will never be such thing as normalcy in our home. We change with the times and with the circumstances. A few weeks ago we went through the process of getting the home we rent appraised. Our landlord offered us first chance at the house and I was being optimistic that we could afford the house. I was very wrong. The house came back appraised at $234,000. That's not pocket change. And it's way over our budget. I guess I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up because as soon as we realized we couldn't afford the house the reality of moving set in. Our lease runs out in August and we will have to find a new place to live. My heart broke that night. I love the house we live in and thought of it as the home we would raise our children in. God has a different plan though. Not an hour after we got the appraisal my awesome husband starts making phone calls to people seeing if they will sell us land. We have two leads right now and I know that what's mean to be will come to fruition. It's not in our hands. It's in God's hands. All we can do is prepare for the land that is to come. We've already picked our our new home through Clayton homes and as soon as the loan goes through our house will be ready to move in in 90 days. I couldn't be more excited to start this new chapter in our lives, but at the same time building a home is a huge step!

In addition to all the house craziness, I got my own wake up call on Thursday. I went for my monthly allergy shots and an hour later I was having trouble breathing and breaking out in hives. I knew that I would have to use my Epi Pen and went into panic mode. After calling Tyler in a panic the Engine pulled up at my work two minutes later. These guys weren't wasting any time. I've never seen the engine move so fast and the guys came to my care right away. In less than 5 minutes I had my vitals checked 3 times, was given my Epi Pen injection, and sent away in an ambulance. We are truly blessed to be a part of the Harrisonburg Fire Department and we have the best professionals around; especially my husband. After spending a couple hours in the ER I was released and sent home. For the first time in a month I spent the evening at home resting. God was telling me to be still and didn't give me any other choice. I needed that. This reaction has also set me back almost a year in my series of shots. It's not that getting the shots is a big deal or super painful, but that puts us back another year from having children. Again, I think it's God's way of telling us that he has a plan and we can't always follow ours.

On a positive note we are so close to paying off all of the medical bills from Tyler's surgery. We've paid over $2,500 in the last 45 days. My heads spins thinking about it and my body cringes knowing how much I worked to help pay the bills. There hasn't been a week in 2013 that I haven't worked between 50 and 65 hours. It will all be worth it in the end. Where there's a will there's a way. And we're finding our way.

My hopes are that with this {blizzard} coming our way that I'll be able to take some time to myself and get my life back in check. I need time to clear my head and rest my body. Snow is the perfect way to accomplish just that :)

Blessings,
Kelsey