Lessons Learned

I've been dreading this day since July 12th. I knew it would come. I just didn't know when. As I walked into my parent's house today my heart sank and I broke down. Buster can't keep his food down anymore. I walked over to him with his tail going as fast as it could and I immediately felt the lumps that we had felt a little less than a month ago. The cancer is spreading and it's only a matter of time. So here I am again, starting over with the grief and hurt that has come with Buster's diagnosis of Stage III lymphoma. I'm trying to come to terms with it, but it's been very difficult.

And again, like the day after his diagnosis, I laid on the floor with him and just held him and sobbed. I know God has a reason for everything, but I just can't figure this one out. Why Buster? Why at age 4? Why my family? And why cancer?

I know that in the last several posts all I've talked about is his lymphoma. So I thought I'd use this post to talk about the lessons I've learned from Buster over the last 4 years.

Live Life To The Fullest

This has been Buster's motto since he came into our lives on January 30, 2007. Within the first year of his life, Buster managed to get Mom new flooring, new baseboards, new telephone cords, and a couple other things. Mom says that he listened to her wants and needs and made them come true :) Dad on the other hand wasn't so fond of Buster's motto. However, this gentle giant grew on him and they were best friends in no time. Even though Buster has caused a good bit of damage at my parent's house, we always get a good laugh out of it. When we came home on Christmas Eve 2007 after our church play, we found the hall carpet ripped up and the baseboards destroyed. Mom laughed and said, "Looks like I'm getting my new flooring after all!" While Dad gave Buster a death stare.

Unconditional Love Conquers All 

The single most amazing thing about dogs is their unconditional love and ability to understand feelings. No matter how mad I was at Buster for chewing something or running off and exploring the neighborhood he always would cuddle up and attempt to make up with me. And he always succeeded. The hardest thing in the world is trying to not love him. Buster also has a way of understanding feelings. He knew when I was sad, mad, or not feeling well. Buster was also there with me through my crazy teenage/high school years. He was there to comfort me after I had the biggest arguments with my Mom and there when Tyler and I took a break from dating.  Buster has been through it all. I only wish that he could help me get through the next couple of months. But I know he'll be watching over me.

All Dogs Go To Heaven

This was one of my favorite movies growing up. However, I never thought that my dogs would be called to heaven so soon. I only wish that Buster could have a second chance and come back down to stay. But I know that I'd always be wishing for one more day if that would be the case. I don't care what anyone else thinks or says, dogs go to heaven. And Buster will be a shining star up there. He's been a complete joy and has made a difference in the lives of every one of my family members. He deserves a spot up there. End of story.

So here's to Buster and all the lessons he has taught me :)